We live in a time of busy. We live in a time of having it completed yesterday. We live in a time when work is constantly by our side or more accurately on our side. Our brain and our work days go on overload. You know this can be harmful to your health and wellbeing but you think, what option do I have?  Enter Self-Care.

 

The definition I use of self-care is doing for yourself what you want to
do. It doesn’t necessarily mean a fitness routine or a yoga class but
if that is what you want to do then a fitness routine and a yoga class are self-care. 
he key is that it is something that you choose to do and it is just for you. It is practicing self-love. It is being self-ish. It is self-respect.

 

Why Is Self-Care So Difficult?

 

How often as kids did we hear from parents and teachers the words…

 

“don’t be selfish,” “share what you have with others,” “people won’t like you if you don’t share,” “you won’t have any friends if you don’t share.”

 

We learn at an early age not to be selfish, it is ‘not nice.’ As early as two years old we hear, “share your toys,” “be a nice boy/girl and share,” “nobody will want to play with you if you don’t share.”

 

The concept is a good one that of being kind but what I find is that many of my clients have these words so engrained into their subconscious mind that they have developed self-limiting beliefs which contribute to huge amounts of guilt if they take time for themselves. They now belief that any form of self-care is bad, not good, selfish, mean, thus a limiting belief.

 

Another source of this self-care guilt or I don’t deserve feelings can come from our interactions with siblings, friends, school and relationships. They become embedded and are difficult to shake off.

 

I teach my clients through Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) how to ‘tap’ away these limiting beliefs and replace them with more supportive beliefs creating a positive shift in just how they view self-care. If not released these negative beliefs can be compounded with feelings and beliefs of, I’m not good enough…I don’t deserve.

 

Time for yourself will translate into you being a healthier, happy person but for the most part we're not good at this. It could indeed be these long held limiting beliefs in the subconscious mind which go against logic but greatly influence your behavior. You need to know that Self Care is a good wellness practice.

 

Airplane Mode

 

We all know the safety routine aboard an airplane…”please ensure your oxygen mask is secure before helping someone else.”  You need to be in airplane mode, that is putting yourself first.

 

What is your oxygen?
How do you take care of you?

 

Whether you use an energy technique like Tapping to clear your limiting beliefs or you choose to make that shift on your own here are some empowering supportive ways you can begin to focus on you and create a an attitude of self-care and enhance your whole being, body, mind and spirit.

 

Ten Ways to Creating a Self-Ish You

 

1. Create comfort rituals for yourself, even if it is only 10 minutes a day. Go to your bedroom or a space where you can be alone. Just sit and day dream.

2. Purchase your favorite piece of dark chocolate, don’t share. Enjoy.

3. Reward yourself, no one else will. Finished a project? A piece of writing? Treat yourself in proportion to the task accomplished.

4. Develop a list of 50 things that make you happy. Feel the joy in every cell in your body with each one you write.

5. Create a success book. Purchase a small note book and begin by writing down all of your successes/achievements to this point in your life. This could be winning a coloring contest in kindergarten to running a marathon, you get to
   decide. Daily write one accomplishment in the Success Book. Great source to visit when you may be feeling down.

6. Take a snow day in July. Curl up in your pajamas and read a book, watch a movie, listen to music, play music, do nothing, do what you want.

7. Spend time in nature. Walk. Hike. Golf.

8. Learn to say No. 

9. Treat yourself to a spa day. A gym day.

10. Do exactly what you want to do.

 

Begin your practice of self-care and self-love today and watch the change in your life.

 

 

 

Phyllis Reardon M.Ed is a certified advanced Emotional Freedom Technique practitioner and can be reached at phyllis@coachphyllis.com  or 709.771.8277.