Ask yourself.
Do you check the locks on your door to make sure you really locked it
numerous times a day?
After unplugging the kettle before bed are you nagged
by the constant thought to get up and make sure that you actually unplugged
it?
Do you feel that you have to constantly organize things in your home in
a particular manner in order to feel "normal"?
Do you try to avoid certain
objects, numbers, or words because they make you feel anxious?
What is OCD?
OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by very negative obsessive and
intrusive thoughts. In order to control these thoughts, sufferers
characteristically develop strange compulsions. Often these compulsions are
repeated actions, anything from walking back and forth over cracks in the
street to repetitive hand washing. When these compulsions are resisted, the
result is an episode of intense anxiety.
Who has it?
OCD is more common than you may think. In fact, approximately 680 000
Canadians suffer from OCD. Many people have mild symptoms of OCD, regularly
or during periods of stress. But others less fortunate suffer severe
anxiety brought on by these unwanted thoughts.
If you've ever felt an overwhelming compulsion to go back and make sure the
stove isn't on after you've left the house, although you know you turned it
off, you're experiencing a minor episode of OCD.
But when OCD starts to control or interfere with your life it's time to seek
professional help.
Many celebrities even came forward and shared their own personal struggles
with the disorder. Some of which are Alec Baldwin, Cameron Diaz, Leonardo
DiCaprio, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and probably most famous for sharing his
story is comedian and Deal Or No Deal host Howie Mandel.
My life with OCD
At the age of twelve I developed a very severe form of Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder (OCD). However, at the time I had no idea what OCD was. I've
never heard of it and most certainly didn't know anything about the mind or
anxiety.
I can remember my first episode as if it happened yesterday. I was in my
room getting ready for bed. I was twelve years old at the time. As I
walked passed my bureau I noticed that one of the drawers was sticking out
about an inch more than the rest. I crawled in bed and turned off the lamp.
But something inside my head was telling me to get up and push the drawer
all the way in. "Why would I want to get up out of bed, walk over to the
bureau and push in the drawer" I asked myself. It didn't make any sense to
me. So I tried to ignore the feeling but it persisted. The feeling nagged
me so much I couldn't sleep. I finally gave in and walked over to the
bureau and pushed in the drawer. Like magic that little voice inside my
mind vanished.
Life becomes a nightmare
As the days went by not only was this particular night time ritual becoming
more severe but I started to develop new rituals. For some strange reason
my mind wouldn't allow me to walk over cracks or lines in the floor with my
left foot first. And if I did my mind would taunt me over and over telling
me to turn around and repeat the process with my right foot first.
As months went by my rituals increased. Six months into this strange
behavior (as I didn't know what I was going through) these rituals were now
taking up about two hours of my day. Everyone around me was noticing and
questioning me. "Jeremy, why do you tap on your locker so many times? Why
do you walk back and forth over lines on the floor? Why do you turn the
door handles all the way to the right, then the left and then the right
again?" There were so many questions that I couldn't answer because I truly
didn't know why I did these things.
A few years into doing these strange rituals I became clinically depressed.
At this point in time these rituals were taking up about 4-6 hours every
single day. Here are some of the rituals that I had to perform to keep me
from taking a severe panic attack:
- I had to rearrange absolutely everything around me on a 30 degree
angle.
- I had to count everything in sight including people, cars, trees,
and even how many times people around me were blinking.
- I had to monitor how many times I blinked my eyes and sometimes
even the amounts of breaths I was taking.
- I had to tap my toes to a particular pattern of numbers.
- I had to tap sometimes hundreds of times on practically
everything I touched.
- But worst of all I had to fight off these very nasty, negative
imagines in my head.
These thoughts would just appear in my mind out of
nowhere. These images were always of someone I loved dying a horrible
death. Vivid car accidents, plane crashes and many other horrible crystal
clear images appeared in mind second by second. And in order to get the
images to go away I had to repeat what I was doing at the time when the
image appeared in my mind. Sometimes I repeated whatever action I was doing
hundreds and hundreds of times before I could get the image to go away.
To list all my rituals would take hours. But these are some of the rituals
that I had to endure every single day. I soon lost courage to do anything I
loved in life. I stopped socializing, playing sports, my junior high
average dropped from 90's to 50's, and I lost 33 LBS in 22 days. Everyone
around me thought I was dying from a fatal illness. I became clinically
depressed and was on the edge of being bedridden from this crippling
illness.
Finding out
About six years of going through this torture a friend handed me over a
magazine with a story of a girl's struggle with severe depression. As I read her story I started to cry. I could relate so much
to her depression and lack of will to live. Then all of a sudden the story
took a whole new twist. Not only was she depressed but she was doing all
these rituals I was doing. Obsessive brushing of her teeth, tapping,
counting, and worst of all trying to tame extremely negative thoughts of her
loves ones dying in her mind. I couldn't believe what I was reading!
She
went on to explain that she was diagnosed with something called Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder. It was the first time I have ever heard of OCD. I was
amazed someone else in the world was going through what I was going through.
Although I was amazed and kind of relieved I was also terrified that I too
probably had OCD.
Curing the monster
After finally coming clean with my ever supportive parents I visited the
Doctor and was officially diagnosed with a very severe case of OCD and
clinical depression. Months of anxiety medication and antidepressants
didn't do anything to relieve my symptoms. It was time for a different
approach.
My Father asked if I wanted to visit a place called the Sainte Anne De
Beaupre Healing Shrine in Quebec. At this point in my life I didn't want to
get out of bed let alone drive for three days cooped up in a van. But I
agreed and will forever be thankful that I did.
To make a very long story short this placed sparked a little bit of hope in
my ever decaying mind. After seeing a wall dedicated to people's crutches
and braces that they used to walk in but left behind created a feeling
inside my heart that I didn't feel in such a long time. After running my
hand on this wall and a whole lot of crying I made a promise to myself.
From that day forward no matter how fierce the panic and anxiety would get I
would make a commitment to fight at least one panic attack a day by not
giving into the compulsion.
Through many nights of anxiety, losing my breath and almost losing my mind I
kept my promise. It wasn't easy and most nights I would find myself
crippled, lying on my bed not being able to breathe. But I kept my word.
As the months went by I found myself wanting to tackle two anxiety attacks a
day, then three, then four. Months and months passed by and I found that
not only was I attacking these panic attacks head on but the anxiety was
reducing itself ever so slowly. I finally weaned myself off the medication
and a couple of years of fighting these severe bedridden attacks I soon
became anxiety free.
All the obsessions, tapping, counting and negative images started to wither
away. But best of all I was starting to feel like "me" again. I was
feeling happy. My depression was starting to decrease.
Nowadays
Nowadays I feel great. No more anxiety or depression. I live my life
completely free of anxiety attacks or ritualistic compulsive actions to help
calm crippling anxiety. When I was going through what I called, "six years
of pure hell" I asked God every day why this was happening to me. But now,
every single morning before I get out of bed I thank God for those six years
of hell. It helped me grow, become stronger and learn to appreciate things
that I didn't appreciate before. But the biggest blessing in the disguise
was that I now have the pleasure of helping others suffering from what I
suffered from.
Rest assured, no matter what you hear or read, there is hope for OCD/anxiety
victims. It all starts with a thought. It's how you treat and nurture that
thought that will determine how quickly you can overcome what you are going
through.
God Bless.
See Jeremy Live!
"The Law of Attraction & How I Overcame OCD".
When: May 08th : 8:00pm - 9:45pm
Where: The DF Cook Recital Hall Auditorium.
Tickets: $30 - available by visiting the Holy Heart
Auditorium or by calling (709) 579-4424.
Listen to
The Law of Attraction & How I Overcame OCD
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A little about Jeremy
Jeremy is best known for his international motivational speech called, "The
Law of Attraction & How I Overcame OCD".
He has a degree in both Psychology
and Philosophy from St. Francis Xavier University.
He is an avid researcher
of different Supernatural subjects including psychic ability, clairvoyance,
and Ufology.
He recently returned to St. John's from starring in a 17
episode series called Supernatural Investigator which was filmed throughout
England and the U.S.A. In this show he investigated a subject known as
Chaos Magick, also known as The Law of Attraction.
He is the Co-Chair of the Canadian Qigong and Chinese Medicine Congress
He is the star of 'Believe', a made for television special that was broadcasted
internationally.
He is also in production of Occam's Razor, a 13 part
documentary series that will be filmed throughout China, Japan, Africa, the
U.K. and the U.S. In this show Jeremy will investigate different
supernatural subjects including crop circles, psychic ability, telekinesis,
remote healing, Ufology, faith healing, spirits, among many other topics.
He recently wrote Odd Close Darkness: How I Overcame OCD. This book is
about Jeremy's severe struggle growing up with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
and what he did to overcome what Doctors said was impossible. This book
will be available across the country in the summer of 2010.
Jeremy believes all success starts with a thought. It's how we treat and
nurture that thought that will determine what we attract into our lives.
For more information on Jeremy please visit: www.jeremybennett.ca
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